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Cover: Congratulations on the promotion.
Inside Text: Nice to see years of sucking up paid off for you.
Item#: C01
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Cover: Congrats on the big news!
Inside Text: I hope you don't turn into a dick.
Item#: C02
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Cover: Congrats on your new home.
Inside Text: I’m assuming it’s located at least 500 feet from any grade schools.
Item#: C03
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Cover: Congrats on graduating!
Inside Text: Those foreign exchange students sitting in front of you must be really smart.
Item#: C04
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Cover: Wedding Congrats!
Inside Text: The Over-Under is 5 years.
Item#: C05
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Cover: Congratulations…
Inside Text: on your first wedding.
Item#: C06
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Cover: Congratulations on your Wedding!
Inside Text: I'm so looking forward to your twenty-five thousand dollar party.
Item#: C07
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Cover: I've found the perfect wedding present for the two of you.
Inside Text: Unfortunately, a year has already passed.
Item#: C08
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Cover: New babies are so cute.
Inside Text: I guess talking about other stuff is out, huh?
Item#: C09
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Cover: Congratulations on your new arrival!
Inside Text: Call me in a few years.
Item#: C10
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Cover: Congratulations on your new baby!
Inside Text: I'm sure it's all really fascinating for you.
Item#: C11
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